On a trip to the Eiffel Tower I saw this sign. Now I knmow what it means, I just think the sign justseems a little silly and a little confusing. It's not as if it is general in that all things are going to be destroyed, it's a particular lost thing, perhaps even a lost thing you lost years ago. If it's a specific lost thing lost years ago, it does appear to be pretty cruel. Not only are they going to take the trouble to track down that lost thing of yours and go to the time and trouble of all that, but they are going to then destroy it and presumably not tell you about it. Those are some pretty serious mind games for you. Of course the bottom of the sign seems to suggest items that you may have lost such as a motorbike, bicycle and a pram, presumably without a child in it, but even that's not 100% from here. Weird huh?
I must admit, I may have decided to stay at home this weekend if I had known what was on the cards, but my crystal ball was broken so I blindly booked a hotel only to get charged twice for it and to find that the people I booked it with were more interested in taking the money for the room they forgot to do... well... much else other than that. At least we were expected, well two of us were and that's about all they could be bothered doing. I can understand it's very difficult when you're dealing in over-priced hotel rooms, you don't want to guarantee anything for someone who has decided to pay a premium for it. Perhaps I should have just stuck to the ultra reliable cheap as chips Premier Travel Lodge Inn. You at least know what you're going to get and that they are going to take your money just the once.
In the interests of trying to keep everyone happy I made sure that the hotel had a pool so your cheap as chips variety was out for that specific reason. This was so that my not so little little one could have a paddle each morning before being bored by the constant stream of sights to see. So off we went to the pool only to be greeted by this sign. All pretty standard apart from item 3. That definitely caused me to double take. In fact I can't imagine why would would have to put that so high up the pecking order of things not to do if you have to have it in the list at all. What sort of people use this pool that need to be told that? Do they also need to be shown the designated pooing place too? It did make me wonder whether the pool was now a safe place to enter what with the problems with rules in general. After all if there's a rule for it then there will surely be a percentage of people breaking it despite a sign telling them that perhaps the toilet is the best place.
Another disappointing visit to Jodrell Bank. I know I shouldn't be so upset at them, they have work to do which was quite evident when they were rotating the dish, however as my Wife said, it's a place we go every so often hoping it would be better only to be disappointed again. I'm like that with Blackpool but I think I finally took the hint from my previous visits that it was never a place I would enjoy despite the years of it being fantastic when I was a kid. Either I have changed or Blackpool has and I think it's a little of both.
Anyway is it bigger now but still as uninspired as it was last time. I am sure that when I was a kid you used to be able to control a dish to find the Sun, yes the Sun... how interesting is that... well when you think about it it's not because finding the sun is quite easy, just divert you eyes to the sky, but when you control a blinking dish then yes it's damn fun.
So to the pic. This has to go in the daft signs collection. So you have to proceed SLOWLEY... is that so that you have a slow and interesting crash? Surely it must be carefully. Personally I don't think that heavy vehicles will be travelling that fast so caution and speed would be the best option but SLOWLEY? It's a narrow track too so they'll be small and heavy. If you do have a “crash” would you ring the emergency services and tell them that they should take half an hour because the crash might just be finished by then?
In a rather boring weekend, here's a rather strange snap to add to my stupid signs collection, I'm sure there was a reason fo this sign and perhaps that reason is no longer valid but it appears quite useless now. To be honest this sign in Botany bay is definitely correct but despite being correct it leaves you with nothing more than you turned up to the sign with. I suppose it could have been more cryptic and just as useless if it said “Pigs Oink” or “Water is wet”. To be honest I think I would have preferred it to say “You are not here” so I could watch the confused faces and perhaps the odd person who tried to make sense of the statement stroking their beard.
Of course it could be a reference to The Prisoner what with the Penny-Farthing but I think I'm taking it far too seriously here and I don't even have a beard, believe me I have tried growing one, I looked a mess, I looked like a tramp and that's really an offence to tramps.
Ah one of the dreaded stop signs, not the most horrible ones that are 4 way stops but a 3 way... just as bad for a Brit in Canada or the US for that matter for no matter how separate a Canadian will tell you they are from the Americans, there are one heck of a load of similarities, even the massive mountains (not in this pic) that people were so proud of were actually 300 miles away in the US. But apparently everything -I was told- could be improved by the view. We were sat in a traffic jam and I was asked to note the fantastic view inferring the traffic jam was better because of mountains... I didn't agree, sat nose to tail in traffic is not great anywhere whether you have mountains or flying hippos to see. Of course in this instance the dreaded stop sign will definitely not be improved my nice scenery because as a non-native driver they filled me with dread and taking my eyes off the road for a second was not my plan as it's give way to the first person who got to the stop line. It's a bit like a queue... but with 4 or three different queues feeding in... where all of them are cars... and they're all trying to cross each other's path... and they might have guns. Yes exactly like a queue. Hey hold on I'm from the UK, we invented queuing, you can't fool me with this, "it's like a queue" business.
Needless to say, I applied my own rules to this predicament which was less like queuing and more like a logic puzzle:
If there is no around traffic then stop, pause as little as possible just in case traffic arrives and gun it. If there is traffic, possibly gun it or not dependant on how sprightly/large/quick/police-like the others are, of course try and observe the queue thing which might mean hesitate and wait for others to hesitate which might mean it was my turn in the first place in which case gun it. If this starts looking all too tricky, park on side of road as if this was out intended destination, announce to the passengers in a loud voice something to the effect of “Well I'm glad we finally got here”, get out and wait for no traffic, hurriedly pack bemused passengers back into the car and... gun it.
See it's simple.
Just for those that doubt that I am here, here is the classic Las Vegas sign, not that this really proves it to be honest and not that anyone cares but it was the best photo of the day. We went to the Stratosphere but the pictures were poor. The Stratosphere is pretty impressive though with rides at the top that are truely frightening. Personally I didn't think I would like just being at the top but once I was used to it and was certain that the building wasn't swaying and that the clunks were a result of the ride catapulting thrillseakers (or idiots as I prefer to call then) off the edge of the tower I was fine. There was also a ride that suspended people over the edge and spun them horizontally but that wasn't working. So from here it was to downtown and the old Las Vegas which was pretty good and a little like Blackpool even down to the Kiss Me Quick hats... Nah I'm kidding. We did wait for the light show that never happened so that was a bit of a let down but hopefully the Grand Canyon will make up for it tomorrow... I hope.
Another one to add to my signs collection. Not as daft as the rest but still a little daft. This is in Dungeness with the obligatory Wikipedia article which is pretty interesting so I recommend reading it.
It's a confusing trip to the headland, there are two roads and the one we took takes you down a really bad road past a military firing range which was a bit of a worry as we headed down the road because we the signs aren't exactly explicit, so perhaps someone's turned a couple around. Not wishing to be put off by a few signs we carried on only to find that we were being followed by a white van travelling over this really bumpy damaged road faster than we were. Naturally my first thought was that we were soon to be faced with a few angry military men. Luckily when we stopped we found that in actual fact we were on the right road. We had turned up at the coast which is a site of special scientific interest with fines for doing the wrong thing. It also turned out that the white van people were interested in what was at Dungeness like us and they disappeared soon after appearing. There's nothing much there really though the beach is tranquil if you have time for such things which at the time we didn't.
Anyway back to the sign. It's not a strange sign in itself. In fact it's pretty self explanatory unless you see the other signs that are there. Further down there's a sign to say that you should not enter the firing range which is pretty good advise really so in what way would I be staring at any military debris if I were to obey the first sign. Also bearing in mind they're talking about debris would I be able to distinguish military debris from other debris? Well I hope so. The other strange thing is that the site is only fenced off on three sides. Get to the beach and there's no fence. Mind you you'll have to be either really unlucky or really stupid to stray. It's not as if the range has been decommissioned because there are firing dates on one of the gates.
As I finished this picture we were passed by a military security van. Knowing how they love people taking pictures of military land it's possible we were only seconds away from a serious questioning... phew.
Now perhaps I have this all wrong and you can laugh in my face for misreading this, but I suspect I have it all right and the person who wrote this sign got it wrong in at least one way, and that isn't for the fact that the bottom half of the sign has been tacked on as an after thought, or perhaps some computer training is required here, simple stuff like changing the font size so that the whole thing fits.
My main problem with this sign is that “cubicles need to be used by other customers at all time”... all times? 100% of it? Even when I'm using it? I mean I know it's communal changing and when I was a lad changing rooms for the pool didn't have cubicles but from a practical point of view the cubicle at best merely fitted my Daughter and I. I'm not sure there was much room for other customers.
Saw this sign in Heaton Park. Apart from the daftness that the pool isn't there anymore it's just a daft sign. I'm not saying Heaton Park is worse than anywhere, I have seen this sort of "Glass in the Pool" sign many places. My question is in which world would I think it would be safe to let an adult in a pool where there's glass even when they are wearing hard shoes?
Whilst staying at a hotel, I did discover this curious sign. I really think that the last place I shall be heading for if the building is on fire is the rooftop garden, unless I am pretty sure that the building is constructed out of some fantastic stuff and even then I would prefer to chance other exit first.